Gunslinger 101
Recent school shootings
have prompted some
otherwise normal
citizens
to urge school officials
to encourage and force
thoughtful classroom
teachers
to arm themselves and
defend their classroom,
seemingly a half-baked
idea.
Should an intruder,
bent on destruction,
burst into a
classroom,
amid, say, a dull
lesson on Grammar,
(verb tenses for
instance)
the teacher, holstered,
calm and brave,
like Billy The
Kid,
who’d murdered
a few surprised folks,
but caught a bullet
himself.
The teacher would
try
to protect his students,
from great
harm.
I can see it now—
the desperate shooter,
shielded behind a
wriggling
armful of Jennifer,
while wildly
reducing the
blackboard
to shredded chips
of powdered rubble
with an AK47
gizmo.
Meanwhile, I’m
patiently waiting
to get a clear
shot
just above
Jennifer’s shoulder,
without grazing her
ear,
all the while wishing
I had rigged up
a few IEDs near the
doorway
so he could
experience firsthand
the finality of
smithereens.
Despite my lack
of Seal Team training,
I rued the obvious
fact
I had neglected to
string up
a few strands of barbed
wire
to hold him at bay
while I rummaged
for a spare
grenade,
but I didn’t dare take
my eyes off him for fear
he might touch Jennifer
improperly.
My best option seemed
to be to let him blaze
through endless rounds of
ammo,
until the local Swat Team
could swoop in,
riddle me with
bullets,
arrest the shooter,
rescue Jennifer,
and ask questions
later.
. . . j
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